What is it About a Name That Can Leave Me Cold? ~ Religion is a tricky subject and not one that I have ever been much interested in for I have always smelt a rat in the pew! If pushed I would say that by circumstance of birth I should be a Christian, Church of England, but in truth I have always shunned all organised religion, quickly realising that I was being played. From an early age until I was eleven years old my parents insisted my brother and I go to Sunday Service at the nearest church, Baptist, to where we lived. It didn’t matter about the denomination it was, I believe, about doing the right thing – being seen to have given our young minds a chance to embrace God.
The church we frequented was a cold, forlorn and loveless affair filled with an odd bunch of cold, forlorn and loveless folks who didn’t particularly like children. The sermons were as dull and dowdy as old grey socks, and the vicar was a dry, bald twig of a fellow who used to bore me with his uninspired sermons. I used to sit alone, quietly absorbed with making blutack animals behind my bible! The only good thing about the whole dull ordeal was that, through going to church, I was allowed to join The Girls Brigade where, on a Friday night, I would anticipate buying sweets to share with Dad when I got home!
When I turned eleven I was told to walk down the corridor and join the big boys and girls in bible study group. No one thought to introduce me, and the room was filled with awkward teenagers who oozed angst and stared at me hostilely as I stood, afraid, in the doorway. I quietly left and never returned; my church days done.
This church was a place of hypocrisy and hate and this was very clear to me from a tender age. I realised immediately that people hid behind their religion pretending to be ‘God fearing’ upright individuals whilst being unkind to little ones in the congregation. I myself was shunned by adult and child alike and learnt early on that religion bred extreme hypocrisy. These people never talked to me and yet were quick to judge and scold whilst making no attempt to brighten the proceedings for all concerned.
I have always believed that something of extreme significance existed and was responsible for creation. I envisaged this as a kind of nebulous swirling energy and have always actively shunned the name ‘God’ preferring something nondescript such as infinite creator. God to me was a boring fellow who was used by boring folks to hide behind whilst being mean to fellow man.
The congregation of the church I frequented were the worst that humanity has to offer and yet proclaimed that God loved them. This was nonsense as he tells me that he detested them all! Now this is a shocking thing to write as God loves all men and judges no one except, in truth, this is a lie. God sees all and judges everything. There is no free ticket and an account is held for every deed and thought and he tells me that these people were held to account when they passed – this is an inflammatory and unfashionable thing to say and will, no doubt, rain down criticism but it is as I am guided to write.
To be honest I still struggle with the name ‘God’ for God’s name should never be used in vain but, in my book, that is exactly what all organised religion has done! Yet recently I have been gently chastised and told in no uncertain terms that God’s name is God and that I must acknowledge it as such – I guess you don’t call Charlie, ‘John,’ ~ it just ain’t celestial cricket!
All this said I feel that I am not alone in my aversion to God’s name being ‘God.’
And so, I reiterate my question: What is it About a Name That Can Leave Me Cold? ~ And, is it only me that gets a dose of the prejudice hebegebees at the mention of the word ‘God?’
I recently wrote an important article on my site which garnered measly views. Entitled, ‘What if God’s Word was Subverted?’ this got me thinking that, perhaps, I am not alone in my distaste for God’s name. A truly spiritual piece I feel that many seekers and spiritually self-determined individuals will shy away from my writing because of the ‘correct’ use of God’s name as God. And I wonder what a gal can do to counter this prejudice: for I am no bible bashing zealot and have important messages to share.
Be Happy xox
(Since November 2018 my writing is truly collaborative with spirit as I am now a channel for them and charged with bringing truth and hope to humanity.)